Monday, March 22, 2010

Back, Sort of



Losing a mother is hard. It doesn't matter how old she is or what intellectual arguments one can muster about circles of life and all that. The plain, raw truth is that it simply wallops you emotionally.

I've finally started back to work on Where Shadows Dance. I've had to ask for a month's extension, but my editor has been very understanding. This past weekend, Steve and I drove up to the lake. We hadn't been there since before Christmas, and it was heaven.

Those endless hours and weeks of sitting at my mother's bedside gave me much time to think. There's nothing like spending day after day in a hospice watching people die, one after the other, to cause even the most goal-obsessed amongst us to reevaluate their priorities. Last 31 December, I found myself oddly ambivalent about the beginning of this new year. Now, I'm ready to make some changes.

My thanks to Sphinx Ink, Emily and Bruce, Skittles, Steve Malley, Susan, Jan, Kim, Melinda, Lainey, Kierra, Vicki, Orannia, pax deux, Charles, Kalliope, Holly, Natalie, Caluch, Lana, Pam, and everyone else for their kind words of sympathy. You helped more than you'll know.

14 comments:

ariellareau said...

I am glad to hear you are (sort of) back. I have missed your blog (which I have been following anonymously for some time). I look forward to hearing more about Where Shadows Dance as I also miss Sebastian.

Steve Malley said...

Anything else I can do, just let me know. Glad to see you again. :)

Lainey said...

So good to hear from you again. My hospice experience with my mother several years ago was a life-changer for me. Glad you had the lake weekend to recharge.

laughingwolf said...

so sorry for your loss :(

as you know, charles gramlich also just lost his mom...

cs harris said...

Thanks, ariellareau. I am working hard on Shadows. It shouldn't take me too much longer to finish it.

Thanks, Steve!

Lainey, it's good to be back. And I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.

cs harris said...

laughinwolf, thank you. Yes, Charles and I have been going through this together. His mom went in the hospital right before mine, for what was supposed to be a routine procedure. But nothing's routine when you're 93.

orannia said...

It's lovely to hear from you. Losing a mother is a very personal thing...each person can relate, and yet can't. I know watching my mother slip away over 4 days (pneumonia secondary to chemotherapy) was the hardest thing I have ever done. I wanted to hold on to each minute because I knew that was all I would have and yet I wanted it to end because I couldn't survive one more minute.

I'm glad you and your husband had time away. My thoughts are with you both and your family.

laughingwolf said...

too true, candy...

two years ago i lost my dad, he was 98 :(

Holly said...

Glad to see you back.

liz fenwick said...

Candy - just catching up and I am so sorry to read your news. There is nothing I can add to what has been said. Thinking of you.
lx

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