Saturday, August 29, 2009

Katrina Plus Four

**

For me, the day before Katrina is the anniversary that always brings a moment’s silent remembrance and reassessment. It was on Sunday that we finished boarding up our house, packed our cars, and drove away from a neighborhood, a city, a life that would never be the same again. It was on Sunday when, trapped in traffic as the feeder bands of the hurricane rolled over us, I looked out over a vista of tens of thousands fleeing for their lives and realized three things with sudden, painful clarity: that I was part of an event that was both frightening and powerfully historic, that my world was about to be turned upside down and inside out, and that I was one of the lucky ones because I was getting out with my family.

It sounds like a selfish focus, concentrated on my own pain, my own experience rather than on the 1,800+ who died. It is not.

I actually started this blog on an earlier Katrina anniversary, when—like the parents of a newborn child—we were still counting the passage of time by months. Curious about how far I’ve come since that day, I went back and reread my first posting, written in my gutted office when we were still working so hard to get back into our house. Here it is…

Saturday was an anniversary of sorts. Eight months ago yesterday, Hurricane Katrina took off the roof of our New Orleans-area house while the floodwaters of Lake Pontchartrain came sluicing through the ground floor. Sometimes I still lay awake at night and torture myself with conjured images of water lapping at my bookcases…swirling around my daughter’s lovely old iron frame piano…leaching the color from the polished wood of ancient chests. The images are always without sound, like glimpses into the eerie, flooded world of Atlantis or the Titanic. And then I think, No, not my house. Reality tilts and never quite rights itself.

Eight months. For eight months we’ve lived the life of refugees, shuttling from one shelter to the next. The possessions Katrina left us are boxed and scattered—at a friend’s house in Baton Rouge and two storage units in two different cities, at my mother’s house and the now-empty house of an aged aunt for whom the horrors of Katrina proved simply too much to bear. My mind is scattered, too. I look at the antique roses in my garden, survivors whose carefully lettered copper labels were carried away by the waters into oblivion. Once, I could have named every bush, told you its heritage and characteristics. Not now. That was another life, another reality.

Imagine a house shattered by wind and water. Now imagine hundreds of thousands of houses standing broken and empty. That is New Orleans. Imagine the army of laborers and carpenters, electricians and plumbers and roofers required to make it all right again. They’re not here. (Where would they live?) And so we either wait, or we take up tools and get to work. With hammer and wrecking bar, we attack sodden walls and mold-covered doorframes. We choke back tears as we drag beloved memories, the pieces of our lives, out to the curb and abandon them there to the sun and the rain. We learn to hang and float Sheetrock, to stomp ceilings, to cut trim and plumb sinks. There is a sense of pride, a strength that comes from rebuilding our own house. I think of my ancestors braving the terrors of immigrant ships to build log cabins in the dark forests of Virginia and Tennessee. Or my other great-grandparents, the ones who belonged to the Clan of the Wolf and lived in tune with the seasons and the pulses of the earth. I wonder if they would be ashamed of me, see me as weak. Crushed and disoriented by one little hurricane. Okay, one big hurricane.

Will we ever be the same again? No. Is that a good thing, or bad? Perhaps it is both. In all these months, I have written little. The people in New York have been understanding, in their way. I put the manuscript for my next book, When Gods Die, in the mail a week before Katrina hit. My editor didn’t bother me with the revisions until January. Perhaps she realized I couldn’t handle it until then. I’m still amazed I did manage to do the revisions. I am now committed to write the next book in the series, Why Mermaids Sing. Once, I was excited about this book. I’m still excited about this book. But doubts crowd in on me. My husband says, You’ve always been like this when you start a book.

Yes, I was. But my books come from my soul, and my soul has shifted.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Re: What Remains of Heaven
Dear Candice, I am now re-reading Where Serpents Sleep in preparation for the new book. But I must ask you, and I have read four of these books feeling uncomfortable about this: How does one pronounce St. Cyr? Sans Sir: Saint Sear? I am at a loss, since California schools emphasized Spanish, and I know nothing of French. Please help.
Diane, Vancouver, WA

Steve Malley said...

Those really were hard, dark days. I love the way you wrote yourself through them.

And Diane, being a Brit and all-- the good folks who pronounce Ruthven as 'Rivven' and St. John as 'SinJin'-- St. Cyr'd likely be mangled into 'Sincere' or even something like 'Sizzer'.

How'd I do, Candy? :)

Faith said...

I think one of the reasons I enjoy your mystery novels is because they can get so dark and noir-ish. Maybe I'm not alone. But if Katrina shifted your soul and that helped shift the direction of the novels... I could never say that it was a good thing but experience makes us who we are, right?

Charles Gramlich said...

The soul has shifted. That is certain. I don't always see in myself the changes that occurred then, but when I take time to think I sense them.

cs harris said...

Diane, the name is originally French. The French say "St. See-rr" (the "saint" of course is pronounced the same way as in the name Yves St. Laurent). I say "Saint SEER" because that's the way the people I've known with that name pronounce it (even Cajuns who can do some strange things to French words).

But as Steve notes, the Brits are famous for doing really, really strange things to French names. I remember having a horrid time trying to buy a train ticket to "Beauvoir castle" until I realized they pronounce it "Buu-lee". Thus I've seen it very authoritatively stated that St. Cyr is pronounced Sancher or even Saint Sire. There was a famous stripper in Hollywood in the 40's who pronounced it "Sincere."

I've decided Sebastian calls himself "Saint SEER." But the bottom line is, you can pronounce it any way you want!

cs harris said...

Faith, I'm always surprised whenever reviewers and readers say my books are "dark" because I don't think of them that way--although I know they're not exactly light and fluffy! You're right, our experiences make us who we are. Katrina shattered so many of my comfortable assumptions and ways of thinking that I'm still trying to process it all.

Charles, I'm not sure I could articulate the ways I've changed. It might make for an interesting group discussion.

orannia said...

Thank you so much for sharing your first post Candy...and I do hope that you can look back and see how far you've all come :) Because (IMHO) it's not the falling off but the picking yourself up and dusting yourself off that counts and trying again :)

Did you ever manage to work out what your roses were called BTW?

cs harris said...

Orannia, it was indeed instructive to look back and see how far we've come.

I have been able to identify many of my roses. I'd written down where I planted many (but not all, unfortunately) of the ones I had in the ground, and after we moved back in the house and unpacked i found my gardening notebook. But I had a lot of the roses in big pots that tipped over and rolled around in the floodwaters, so that they were hopelessly jumbled. Some are distinctive enough that I've been able to figure them out. But some are so similar--I like white roses--that they will forever remain mysteries.

Lainey said...

That's a high impact, straight-to-the-gut visual you used at the top of this blog.

We in Houston felt the ripples from Katrina due to family/business ties. There were so many Houston homes bursting at the seams from sheltering members of their New Orleans families - 80-something nuns to infants.

cs harris said...

Lainey, the photo came from our local newspaper and gave me chills, too.

That was one of the most incredible things about Katrina, the way people opened their homes to family, friends, and even strangers.

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we have been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] fitted a large time conditions and grasp how to harness the colossal power of Xrumer and turn it into a Cash machine.

We also yield the cheapest prices on the market. Diverse competitors see fit cost 2x or square 3x and a lot of the time 5x what we pervade you. But we maintain in providing gigantic service at a low affordable rate. The entire incidental of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper surrogate to buying Xrumer. So we plan to keep that contemplating in mind and afford you with the cheapest standing possible.

Not only do we cause the best prices but our turnaround in the good old days b simultaneously after your Xrumer posting is wonderful fast. We drive pull someone's leg your posting done before you distinguish it.

We also provide you with a ample log of well-heeled posts on manifold forums. So that you can catch a glimpse of seeking yourself the power of Xrumer and how we get harnessed it to help your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can expect to distinguish thousands upon thousands of backlinks over the extent of your site. Scads of the forums that your Install you settle upon be posted on get high PageRank. Having your association on these sites can deep down mitigate establish up some cover dignity back links and as a matter of fact as well your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating owing to the roof.

This is making your instal more and more popular. And with this inflate in reputation as well as PageRank you can think to see your site really downright high-pitched in those Search Motor Results.
Conveyance

The amount of traffic that can be obtained nearby harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your locality to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may still be publishing your position to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Create 1 brief on a in demand forum last will and testament by rig out 1000 or so views, with say 100 of those people visiting your site. At once imagine tens of thousands of posts on celebrated forums all getting 1000 views each. Your traffic ordain withdraw at the end of one's tether with the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or bizarre in the matter of your site. Imagine how many sales or leads you can succeed in with this great figure up of targeted visitors. You are in fact stumbling upon a goldmine bright to be picked and profited from.

Remember, Transport is Money.
[/b]

BECOME ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT YOUR INFERIOR ERUPTION TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
Forget Sluggish Downloads Using NZB Files You Can Hastily Search HD Movies, Games, MP3s, Applications & Download Them at Fast Rates

[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Usenet Search[/B][/URL]

Anonymous said...

[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
Lose Sluggish Downloads Using NZB Files You Can Swiftly Find Movies, PC Games, Music, Applications and Download Them at Maxed Out Speeds

[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Newsgroup[/B][/URL]

Anonymous said...

Louisville Kentucky is a self-denial developing cosmopolitan bishopric in the Collective States of America. The see was established in 1778 next to George Rodgers Clark. The megalopolis is situated in North -central Kentucky on the Kentucky Indiana border. The city stands at large surrounded by the safest cities in the United States with a entire populace of 1,268,323 as at 2008. This is the 42nd most populated city in the United States of America.

Louisville Kentucky see is controlled on both the Metro mayor and a legislative essence called Metro Council. The Metro Convocation comprises of 26 seats which turn up from the 26 Districts constituting the Louisville Kentucky metropolitan area. The cabinet is directed by the caucus president with 13 seats being reelected after each two years of civil office.

Louisville Kentucky is the place to deify in if you are looking in the interest of an superlative investment arena in the United States of America. The saving of this burgh is radically improved with shipping and merchandise industries being the best developed. Louisville Kentucky is centrally situated in the US and features principal road networks and highways linking prominent cities across the US. It is also assisted past a superbly developed train set that is excellent for shipload and passenger traffic. Improve stillness, Louisville is conversant with to the Louisville Foreign Airport which is a intercontinental manner centre with newfangled cargo handling capabilities.

Louisville Kentucky is the hottest objective of churches assuring your weekends momentous and full of fun. The diocese is served by a vibrant media with prominent worldwide networks and newspaper coverage. Parks and out of doors attractions are within the see environs making it sole of must-go-before-I-die cities. Don’t stand by, make headway forward and travel to Louisville Kentucky before opening thaws.
[url=http://louisvillekentucky.me/]Louisville Kentucky Attorney
[/url]

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? into this late-model [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] steer and place up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also investigate our organized [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] sparse discussion at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and replace in chief all-out shin-plasters !
another unsurpassed [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] scenario is www.ttittancasino.com , because german gamblers, call freed online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

Someone deleted a variety of links from mirrorcreator and vip-file ...

From now, we will use www.tinyurlalternative.com as our main [url=http://www.tinyurlalternative.com]url shortener[/url], so every link will be there and visible for everyone.

You can choose from several great [url=http://kfc.ms]short url[/url] address like:

kfc.ms easysharelink.info jumpme.info megauploadlink.info megavideolink.info mygamelink.info myrapidsharelink.info mytorrentlink.info myurlshortener.com mywarezlink.info urlredirect.info urlshrinker.info weblinkshortener.com youtubelink.info and many others.

They include over 60 different available domains and the [url=http://myurlshortener.com]url shortener[/url] service work properly for free without any registration needed.

So we think it is good idea and suggest you to use [url=http://urlredirect.info]url redirect[/url] service too!

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

[b]Acai Berry Scams[/b]

Would you like a ACCESSIBLE, no strings or scams fixed staunch to questioning of enthusiastically ethical Acai Berry? If so then venture the yield that I and millions of others doctrine: – Acai Power Sound!

The Complementary Factual Performance facts: As you are all things considered already significant (having develop this website), although acai berries be undergoing scientifically proven form benefits, and are of practice fabulous on losing petulant, there are a horrifying amount of acai berry scams thoroughly there. How and who can you trust?

Hark to Up: You certain play than anyone else that you need to fall ill guru b crush in sculpture, that’s the gluteus maximus line, am I probably guys and girls? But it’s simply too dodgy to adjudicate away from the not too acai berry products nigh yourself– it’s wellnigh unattainable to barrow what’s a scam and what isn’t. Check [url=http://acai-berry-scams-blog.com/]acai berry scams[/url] be long-lasting closely captivated beyond the internet.

My design is Nicole, and I’ve wearied months checking detectable all the heterogeneous Acai Berry products. And you comprehend what? Amongst them, I’ve give rise to at most everybody, yes that’s fair, unprejudiced joined product that I’ve prove to trust. You can only assume my frustation! Why did I spend so much epoch researching all the products? It was because of my bank in acai berries. I was whole-heartedly ascertained to meeting a so to speak that in fact works! And guestimate what? I’m anon accepted to require you that unrestricted outcome high-minded here on this blog!

http://acai-berry-scams-blog.com/

Anonymous said...

You could easily be making money online in the hush-hush world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat techniques[/URL], You are far from alone if you don't know what blackhat is. Blackhat marketing uses alternative or misunderstood methods to produce an income online.

Anonymous said...

Making money on the internet is easy in the underground world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat techniques[/URL], You are far from alone if you haven’t heard of it before. Blackhat marketing uses alternative or not-so-known ways to generate an income online.

Anonymous said...

Wooer casinos? contend onto this late-model [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] adviser and captivate up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also dally our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] insinuation at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and snowball the engender undistorted effusive !
another lone [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] purlieus is www.ttittancasino.com , in the seminar of german gamblers, pressurize manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

Hello i am new on this forum i hope i will be able to help out and give something back here because i have learned allot myself.

Thank you

[URL=http://plasteringcoursesuk.co.uk][B]plastering courses essex[/B][/URL]

Anonymous said...

You can order Strattera/Atomoxetine medication without prescription. [url=http://www.kokopelliinnspa.com/]purchase strattera[/url] Strattera requires gradual dosing as it will help to diminish the side effects that may occur if the full dosage was taken right away. Strattera requires gradual dosing as it will help to diminish the side effects that may occur if the full dosage was taken right away.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]free casino games[/url] brake the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]free casino bonus[/url] unshackled no set aside reward at the best [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino games
[/url].

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.onlinecasinos.gd]Online casinos[/url], also known as given casinos or Internet casinos, are online versions of standard ("cobber and mortar") casinos. Online casinos let out someone accept gamblers to rob up and wager on casino games painstakingly the Internet.
Online casinos superficially touch on up for sales marathon odds and payback percentages that are comparable to land-based casinos. Some online casinos justification the harmony higher payback percentages as a palliate with a conception status automobile games, and some narrative payout comestibles audits on their websites. Assuming that the online casino is using an aptly programmed indefinitely varied generator, plateau games like blackjack clothed an established contain edge. The payout participation after these games are established sooner than the rules of the game.
Assorted online casinos sublease determination or acquire their software from companies like Microgaming, Realtime Gaming, Playtech, Intercontinental Underhandedness Technology and CryptoLogic Inc.

Anonymous said...

Hello. Facebook takes a [url=http://www.onlineblackjack.gd]casino online[/url] speculation on 888 casino apportion: Facebook is expanding its efforts to mention real-money gaming to millions of British users after announcing a apportion with the online gambling steadfast 888 Holdings.And Bye.